I don’t like coffee.
No really, I don’t like coffee!
Surprising, I know. I mean I look like a person who should like coffee, right? But I don’t. I know I look like a person who should like coffee because everyone I meet is surprised I don’t drink coffee and everyone I already know asks me if I want to grab a coffee and I’m just like “NO! I don’t like coffee.”
I’m sorry. I like the smell of it but it tastes horrible. You don’t agree, because you like coffee. But I don’t. I like tea. I like all the tea. Normal tea. Earl grey tea. Fruit tea. Herbal tea. Fresh leaf tea. Turkish tea. Mint tea. White tea. Green tea. Black tea. ALL THE TEA. No coffee.
“I’ll make you a coffee” he said “I bet you’ll like it” he said.
One sip of a weak latte later and I still don’t like coffee.
“I didn’t used to like coffee,” she said “you need to try it with syrup, to get used to it”
Why would I try to trick myself into liking something I hate? I just don’t like coffee ok?!
“I’m telling you, no-one has made you a coffee like I’ll make you a coffee. I promise, you’ll try this and it will change your life.”
It’s a mocha. It’s still coffee. I still don’t like it.
I don’t like coffee. Ok. Now leave me alone and come back with a brew. And by brew I mean tea. Any tea. Not coffee.