11. Fat jumpsuit

Bought this new jumpsuit. It’s well nice and was an absolute bargain, but I tried it on before work and it made me look fat. It’s such the perfect thing for tonight as well. It looked fit when I tried it on. I need to look good tonight. Why does this fucking happen to me? I’ve not even eaten that much shit. I only bought it like 2 days ago. How did it look good 2 days ago and not today. Fuck you.
I looked great in it when I bought it. I’m just hoping when I’ve got my face on and my hair done it looks good. …

Even my safety dress isn’t working for me today. 

….

Well, a big dinner before going out is ruled out. 

I’ve got no clothes. I bought the jumpsuit because I had no clothes and I’ve still got no clothes. Nothing looks good. I’m just gonna have to sit here in my dressing gown and hope it looks good after. My room’s a fucking bombsite. 
WHY IS MY HAIR BEING A DICK?
 I don’t even want to go out anymore. If he sees me and I look like shit he’s not gonna wish he was with me. And I want him to think “fuck, she’s fit” even though I don’t actually want to be with him. It’s not the point. I also need him to think I’m not sitting around waiting for him to message me. Because I’m not. Well, I am. But he needs to think I’ve got a much more interesting life, and I’m not sat around in my dressing gown hoping he’s gonna ask me about where I’m going out tonight, and asking if I might see him. I do have more interesting things to do. Like eating this cheesecake. Which is probably why that jumpsuit makes me look fat. NO. I can’t deal with this. I better look good in 3 hours when I need to get ready or shit is going down. 
 
 

Fuck you cheesecake. Fuck you jumpsuit.
  

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